Have you ever felt angry at God?
A Listening Heart
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Do you struggle with a deep pain that’s left you with many unanswered questions? Are you scared to honestly express your feelings to God because you are afraid of blasphemy?
Is it ok to be mad at God? This question has come up during coaching sessions with clients in the last few weeks.
What does it look like to get mad at God?
Let me illustrate with Becky’s story (not her real name). Becky loves God, attends church regularly, and considers herself a good Christian. But she struggles with feelings of helplessness over growing up with alcoholic parents. A pervasive sense of powerlessness haunts her daily.
As a teenager, Becky secretly blamed God for her parent’s alcoholism and for allowing her to grow up in such a rough abusive home. She often gets impatient with coworkers, family, and friends over minor things. She doesn’t even recognize how she comes across to others.
Perhaps like Becky, you too are mad at God. Maybe you’ve experienced bullying, parents divorced, or you felt isolated and neglected as a child. Or perhaps you lost a parent to illness after praying and asking God to heal them.
Beneath the life experiences that leave us overwhelmed are often many unanswered questions directed at God… where were you? Why did you allow this suffering? Why did you take my loved one? You may ask these questions secretly but not give yourself permission to verbalize them.
You and I often blame God for not answering our prayers, protecting us, being too silent, or not warning us in time.
Why do we get mad at God?
In our hurts and disappointments, we blame God because of unmet expectations.
God doesn’t meet our expectations. We get angry at God because he doesn’t meet our expectations in situations that are beyond our control. Since God is Sovereign and in control of all things, we expect him to give us what we want. Becky felt disappointed and lonely because she didn’t grow up in a “normal” home with loving parents. She felt abandoned that God wasn’t there to protect her.
We get something we don’t expect. We often think that God should always prevent bad things from happening. For example, years ago, when my Dad died suddenly, I was frustrated with God for allowing my Dad to pass at such a young age. As I envisioned all the trips and fun times I won’t have with my Dad, I felt discouraged.
God owes us. We feel entitled because we assume that God owes us something. Let’s say you prayed for a situation to turn around and expect God to answer but instead, you got no response. God’s silence can feel like he doesn’t care about you or your situation.
If left unaddressed, our unmet expectations can leave us feeling resentful, skew our perception of God, and destroy our relationship with others.
Mad at God? Tell Him how You Feel. You can be Free
Staying mad at God leads to overwhelm, feeling stuck, and hopelessness. It robs you of peace and joy.
Becky came for coaching to get help on improving her relationships with her coworkers, family, and friends. But then, in the process, she discovered the root of her anger and hopelessness.
She’d silently resented God for allowing the difficult circumstances in her life for more than 20 years. She didn’t give herself permission to talk with God about feeling resentful toward him. She held him accountable for the many years of feeling hopeless, angry, and frustrated.
Long term, this resentment caused her to see God as a harsh Father. She saw herself as a victim and blamed God for her losses, for not being able to trust, and for her feelings of insecurity. She felt God did not protect her, so she couldn’t trust him.
Outwardly Becky went through the motions of living an everyday life while secretly nursing this bitter resentment toward God. She shed many tears in private because of this past emotional wounding.
Through coaching, prayer, and journaling, Becky gave herself permission to challenge her perception of God. As she acknowledged and put words to her feelings toward God, she felt a sense of resolution. Becky said part of me feels like I’m coming alive again. As I have unburdened this stuff, I feel free, no longer angry, and feel more creative.
None of us are immune from disappointments, heartaches, and suffering. They are part of life. Jesus told us so in John 16:33
I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world, you have tribulation and distress and suffering but be courageous; I have overcome the world. John 16:33 AMP
How we respond to life’s disappointments and suffering can mean the difference between staying stuck in despair or living a rich and satisfying life (John 10:10 NLT).
Like Becky, you too can overcome being mad at God by dealing with your anger and bitter feelings toward him. Be honest with your emotions and tell God how you feel. Pray and share your disappointments and unfulfilled expectations with him. Seek professional support to help you work through your overwhelming emotions and their effects on your life.
God loves you! Even though you may not sense it, he is always near. You are never alone.
And I will be your Father, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty. 2 Corinthians 6:18 NLT
Brighter days and improved relationships are ahead if you are willing to be vulnerable with God. Peace and joy are possible.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed and afraid to acknowledge unanswered questions in your life?
Wondering how to let go of your anger at God so you can live a rich and satisfying life? Book a FREE Discovery Call today to discuss how I can help you.
You may also be interested in The Secret Mirror and How can God allow so much evil and suffering?
