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One of the first kingdom principles that God revealed to us is submission, giving something up out of love to get something new. From Abraham’s act of submission at Mount Moriah to God Himself sacrificing His Son to give us new life.
Ancient Egyptians introduced the legend of the phoenix. According to the myth, the phoenix lived to be 500 years old, and when it was time to die, it would willfully sacrifice itself by setting itself on fire. A new phoenix would then be regenerated, rising from its ashes.
Like the phoenix, we were spiritually dead. But at salvation, we laid ourselves on the altar and gave up our old life to embrace newness in Christ. Submission is key, not only to qualify as heirs of God’s kingdom, but to possess the fullness of our inheritance.
Marriage is another opportunity to understand the significance and beauty of submission.
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Ephesians 5:21 (NIV)
God created marriage and modeled it after His Kingdom; therefore, it is one of the platforms to establish and enjoy the kingdom of God here on earth.
There are five revelations or kingdom keys that have helped me to be more intentional in my marriage. They’ve helped me grow in my marriage and in my understanding of God and His Kingdom.
5 Kingdom Keys for a Wholesome Christian Marriage
It starts with submission to the Spirit – We surrender to the Spirit so that He can cultivate His Fruit in us, and marriage is our garden. We often say that charity begins at home; indeed, our marital home is our first ministry. It’s easy to pretend to outsiders, but our home is where we “keep it real.” When we cultivate the Fruit of the Spirit at home, it will manifest in other areas of our lives. As we grow more perfect in love, we will meet the prerequisite to surrender to each other the way God intended.
Submission is the most beautiful act of love – Ephesians 5:23 charges wives to submit to their husbands, but it doesn’t stop there. In Ephesians 5:25, husbands are called to follow the model of Christ. What did Christ do? He laid down his life for us. In return, what did we do? We loved Him. “We love because he first loved us” 1 John 4:19 (NIV). Submission is not weakness, and it is the most beautiful way to lead, through love.
Submission is about chemistry –There are two types of chemical bonds, ionic and covalent bonds. In an ionic bond, two atoms become one when one loses an electron, and the other one takes it. But when you dissolve them in water, they will separate from each other. However, in a covalent bond, the two atoms share their electrons, and when dissolved in water, they will not separate. They remain one. The same chemical principle applies in marriage. We cannot become one until we have given ourselves to each other in the process.
Submission doesn’t mean that we always agree – We have different strengths and weaknesses and different levels of insight and knowledge. However, we can reason together without tearing each other down, and a house divided against itself cannot stand.
My husband and I are the different sides to the same coin. You cannot stop him from doing what he wants to do. As for me, you cannot make me do what I don’t want to do. My husband is decisive and quick to act while I tend to ask questions and dwell on the possibilities. Instead of getting hung up on our differences, we are using them to our advantage. Submission to each other allows us to better handle feedback and makes us less prone to offenses.
Submission allows us to be present in our marriages – Who has a more successful marriage, the couple who has been unhappily married for 30 years? Or the newlyweds who are enjoying every second of their marriage? The length of a marriage may not show its true health.
Our priority should be on maintaining healthy marriages. Because we are complete in Christ, we do not depend on our spouse to complete us. That allows us to receive our spouse for who they are and to offer our support without selfish motives. We aren’t dwelling on the past or trying to make them change. If we look back like Lot’s wife, we may become ‘salty,’ but we can be present.
Attempting to control the future by “making them stay” will rob us of the present joy. It can also open the door to fear, which inevitably leads to jealousy and manipulation. We are called to serve in love, not in fear.
Following God’s pattern of submission for husbands and wives in a Christian marriage is the ultimate manifestation of love. Marriage is a venue that God can use to help us perfect our love for Him and for others.
Do you long for a wholesome Christian marriage? Which one of these 5 kingdom keys will you practice in your marriage?
Today’s Guest Post by Dr. Toyin Omofoye, my friend and sister in Christ is a call to embrace mutual submission and 5 kingdom keys for a healthy Christian Marriage.
Dr. Toyin Omofoye is a clinical pharmacist, wife, and mom of twin boys. She enjoys spending time with her family, writing, and exploring nature. Connect with her on Instagram and Facebook @toyfoy
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