This week’s guest post is written by my friend, Michelle. She shares her thoughts about Encountering God as Provider. Please join me in welcomin her.
A Listening Heart
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I remember bringing her home from the hospital and holding her in my arms crying. As I sat on my bed nursing her, the very real dangers she would face as a little girl hit me like a ton of bricks. I had to keep her safe. I had to do everything in my power to protect her. I didn’t want anyone to hurt her. I knew how scary it was to be a little girl.
As I sat there gazing at her beauty and innocence, a fierceness rose up in me and I vowed to keep her safe. I had to keep her close. I did not trust anyone.
As she grew, the memories from my own childhood would suddenly pop up and overwhelm me. I went to counseling to begin healing from the devastation of the sexual abuse and trauma I experienced as a child.
I had not shared these secrets with anyone. I didn’t want to ever talk about them, but memory after memory continued to roll in like waves on the shore. I was at the end of my rope and all I could do was trust Him. It took everything in me to place this sealed away part of me in God’s hands.
He provided.
I could write a book on all the ways God provided, but I will shorten them here. It was hard for me to trust Him with certain things. Over time, as I saw him meet my needs and make a way when it seemed to be absolutely impossible, my faith grew. I trusted Him completely. I knew that I knew that I knew that He would come through.
He was there in my first counseling session and remained there with me for almost four years on her sofa as I spilled it all. He provided the best counselor for me. He provided friends who brought me encouragement and hope at just the right time. When I felt like I was ready to confront, He provided a way and even gave me the words and the courage. He provided a way to share with others who needed to hear they were not alone. After many tears and lots of heartaches, I completely trusted Him to be Jehovah Jireh, my Provider.
I knew God loved me and He would never fail me.
And then out of nowhere, I found myself standing in the trauma unit of the ER and seeing my daughter on a cold table, unresponsive. This was the precious child I promised to protect. All of my triggers and panic resurfaced, and I thought I would lose my mind. I waited for my husband to get there and I stepped outside for air. I called a friend and begged her to pray. It felt like everything was crumbling. I was crumbling and my knees were shaking.
She prayed right then and by the time she was finished, I was standing stronger. I walked back into the ER, and I held my daughter’s hand. I told God I loved her, and that I KNEW He loved her too. She was His daughter too. I wanted Him to heal her. I wanted to trust her with Him. I had to let go and believe that He would protect her.
She opened her eyes and asked for water, and I gave her a drink.
He provided.
Her recovery was up and down. Just a few weeks later, we were back in the ER. I have never felt so helpless in my entire life. In that helplessness, my heart and soul were full of hope. I knew that the same Jehovah Jireh would provide again, and again, and He did. I trust Him. I trust Him to protect her. I trust Him to be her Jehovah Jireh.
When I entrusted Him with my past, He provided me a future full of hope.
When I entrusted Him with my daughter, He provided a peace that I can hardly describe.
For both of us, He has provided healing.
Healing is a miracle
Sometimes the miracle happens in an instant, and other times the miracle is seeing Him work it out day by day and step by step. He is faithful to provide when we are willing to give it to Him.
What can you entrust Jehovah Jireh with today?
Don’t be pulled in different directions or worried about a thing. Be saturated in prayer throughout each day, offering your faith-filled requests before God with overflowing gratitude. Tell him every detail of your life, then God’s wonderful peace that transcends human understanding will make the answers known to you through Jesus Christ. Philippians 4:6-7 TPT
This is the third in our series on Encountering God by Name. Next week is EL ROI.
Photo by Liane Metzler on Unsplash
MICHELLE VISCUSE
Michelle courageously shares her story of healing in order to inspire women who have been sexually abused or violated to find courage, hope, and freedom in Jesus Christ. Visit her blog at http://www.journeypink.com and connect with her on social media @michelleviscuse.
