What’s your self-talk like? Is it critical and harsh or compassionate and graceful?
A Listening Heart
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I bet you make time for people and relationships that you care about. Maybe you do thoughtful things to help them when they are feeling down.
But what about you? Do you have a nurturing relationship with yourself?
When last did you give yourself permission to celebrate who you are and all of God’s gifts in you?
At the core of not truly loving ourselves are lies, we believe about our identity. These lies affect how we think, feel, and behave which often leads to feelings of low self-esteem, lack of confidence, and inadequacy. We often view who we are through these negative perceptions.
The good news is that these beliefs can be changed even if we’ve had them for a long time. It is possible to truly love yourself and be grateful for your life.
You can right the imbalances in your self-perception and claim your identity in Christ.
3 Ways to Truly Love Yourself, Let go of Insecurities and Embrace Your Identity in Christ
- Learn to Forgive Yourself.
How you see yourself is a result of your natural bent, childhood, personal life experiences, and environment. Some of your negative past life experiences might strongly influence your self-perception.
We often blame ourselves for things we didn’t do wrong. We still allow negative people from our past to call us names, and we adopt them. If your self-talk goes like this:
I am a failure
I am a loser
I am unlovable
I am bad
I am worthless
No one likes me
It’s time to stop and identify the root of these lies.
How do these negative perceptions influence our thoughts, feelings, and actions? How do we overcome them? The key is to identify the source of these core beliefs and examine your reaction to them.
Don’t hide. Call out that negative self-talk. Analyze the problem and make plans to change.
We all make mistakes. For example, if I say I am a failure. When I analyze this statement, I recognize that it’s not from me. But my second-grade teacher’s voice from before anyone realized I had a learning disability.
The fact is that I am not more awkward than anyone else on earth. I forgot to plan ahead and study for the test. Next time I’ll plan to study two weeks before the test. I’ll also find a verse from the Bible to encourage me.
Friend, you’ve got to be ruthless with these lies and negative self-talk. Take out the shame and emotion by replacing it with a more realistic statement and replacing the lies with God’s truth from the Bible.
You also have to forgive yourself. Talk to yourself with compassion as you would address a friend who’s made a mistake.
We all make mistakes. It’s all part of being human, so learn to let go of guilt, make any necessary changes, and affirm your identity in Christ.
Confronting our negative self-perceptions and insecurities sets us free from traps of the past.
- Do Something that Brings You Joy Every Day.
What do you love to do every day? We often focus on our mile-long to-do lists and forgo doing things that bring us joy. For me, a quiet walk in the morning, hearing the sounds of birds, and feeling the cool crisp winter air on my face refreshes me.
God wants you to have fun and enjoy your life. Doing something that you love every day will keep your life joyful and recharge your emotional batteries. So whether it is spending time in your garden, going to the movies, listening to music, or hiking, taking time out for fun makes life satisfying and fulfilling.
There is nothing better for a person than that he should eat and drink and find enjoyment in his toil. This also, I saw, is from the hand of God. Ecclesiastes 2:24
- Make Time Regularly for Communion with God.
One of the kindest actions you can ever take for yourself is building into your schedule regular communion with God. There are many tools online to enhance your quality time with God. I shared several of these resources in a previous post.
Find your favorite Bible translation and a devotional. Schedule time to read the word, pray, meditate, and listen to God. You can use a journal to capture your prayers and insights.
I also use this time to affirm my identity in Christ out loud. A habit of spending time with God daily will inspire you and keep you centered.
When I neglect daily time with God, I feel off-center. I invite you to find a time that works for you and embrace this daily practice.
Depending on God daily is wise, caring, and shows you truly love yourself.
Below are some scriptures to support you as you make time with God and affirm your identity in Christ.
Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. Psalm 127:1 NIV
No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. Ephesians 5:29 NLT
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10 NLT
Our faith in Jesus transfers God’s righteousness to us, and he now declares us flawless in his eyes. This means we can now enjoy true and lasting peace with God, all because of what our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One, has done for us. Romans 5:1 TPT
Friend, you are a unique masterpiece, fearfully and wonderfully made. It’s ok to love yourself and let go of your negative self-perceptions and insecurities. It’s time to embrace yourself, reject the lies, and see yourself as God sees you. God never makes mistakes.
God loves you!
Which of these 3 ways do you need most in your life right now? What steps will you take to make changes?
If you need any help with discovering your identity, or if you have any questions about it, click here to set up a quick call with me. I’m happy to walk you through it.
Ligyi Venegas Johnson’s prayer says it all…to love others well, you’ve got to accept God’s love and love yourself.
Dear Lord,
There are times in life that I judge myself harshly and even find it difficult to forgive myself. A lack of forgiveness on my part, sometimes makes me go through anxiety and frustration. Although I may not always be able to view myself as good in front of the mirror, I know that in Your eyes, I am a different person, because You look at me with love, with forgiveness and compassion. Help me to find within, the forgiveness I need, and to accept that I am not a perfect being and that I have made mistakes. It is my deep desire not to make them again. You created me in Your image, and though I am different from others, I am special and unique. Help me to accept myself as I am, to recognize every day that in You I can be a better person, capable of receiving and giving love, forgiveness, and compassion. In order to learn to love others, I must first accept myself as I am and love myself, because You loved me first.
“You are doing right if you obey this law… Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” James 2:8
You may also be interested in 11 Incredible Truths and Is Self Love Biblical?
